Smart Phones Outscore Spouse in Relationship Stakes

A controversial new survey commissioned by The Suburban Fizza has found that 62% of Australians prefer the company of their smart phone to spending quality time with their partner.

A wide variety of Aussies were polled in the new Fizza survey: from straight to LGBTQ identified; metropolitan to regionally based; school leavers to seniors; and covering a broad spectrum of income levels and lifestyle interests.

Importantly, across all of those polled, a person’s attachment to their smart phone, device or tablet consistently outweighed their interest in their spouse or significant other.

Chief Pollster Lois Common-Denominator said the survey results were sobering if not entirely surprising.

“We also asked our audience who they would choose if push came to shove, and 57% of respondents said they would take their smart phone to a desert island rather than take their loved one.”

The cutting edge poll was also evenly weighted between Apple and Android users, and the preferred operating system did not skew the overall survey results.

“It’s nothing personal,” said Brad, 32, from Bracken Ridge, who has been happily married for seven years.

“There are so many great gaming apps around and I can live stream all the Broncos games and place a bet on the horses at the same time.”

Julie, 43, from Capalaba said that she looked forward to retiring to her bedroom with her partner at the end of a long work day.

“They are on their phone and I’m on mine. We both have our headsets on, so there is no need to talk to each other at all. It suits both of us just fine.”

When asked what single people could do to attract the attention of Ms Right or even Mr Right Now, Dr Common-Denominator suspected that romantic hopefuls might find it increasingly difficult to compete with new technology.

“It might be a case of ‘if you can’t beat ’em join ’em’,” she said.

“People are busy on Tinder or what have you looking for that perfect relationship, when in fact our survey results show that they are probably already holding the answer in their very hands.”

Cryptically, 58% of those polled in the Fizza survey they would be more interested in spending time with their partner if their partner were more like a smart phone.



Block "subscribe-to-the-fizza" not found


Block "bbq-on-video" not found