free MONOXIDE DETECTOR roll-out . .

is the question which has become number 1 for citizens of a precinct known as ” SLAVES-WAY-PROPER” in Melbourne’s EAST.

A reputable survey found 61% of all registered voters in the GRID – suggested carbon monoxide is the first thing they think of in the morning before breakfast. Ribald Donmore – running for shire mayor – said he can’t eat his fruit-loops without a SMOG-FIXATION – he appeared to be contorting throughout the interview and needed gas before continuing.

In response to Slave-way’s public hurting – Ali Seperano proprietor of The Kebab Palace has wrapped up a deal with a wholesaler. This will make the best detectors in stock a gift reality for family’s choking in their sleep.

Contrary to overall acceptance of the device roll-out – a recently passed council by-law has the combined totality of the detectors-going-off in contravention of noise abatement levels.

Police addressing a concerned citizens briefing apologised for recent mass fines issued across the grid – while a council spokesman suggested the extra revenue would help developers enter the area with renewed interest.

We sent our reporter along with this little beauty – from Amazon Australia – which went offfff everytime she entered THE KEBAB PALACE.


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