A New Suburb called “BLURT”

Blurt was new – it had taken 4 yrs and sucked all the fracking royalties from the Chinchilla community – but finally the grand opening would mark a turning point.

A standin dignitary  – Frank Lavine was preparing his welcoming speech. BLURT had been signed off by a rabid council who had heard one “child in a woodshed story”  too many.

An “absolution” block within council had made it happen. Its main spokesperson – Gloria Fence had grown up with 3 drunken fathers and a mother who had died before her 2nd. birthday – she wanted disgusting behavior driven from the district.

The UNVEILING day had arrived – tacked onto a wasteland outside town – half-shed-half-houses were scattered around nowhere-near-finished subdivision roads. There appeared to be scant electricity. Part resident part zombies were gathering in a town-square formation. 

Standing on some pallets as the P.A. burbled – Frank set about articulating the vision which is BLURT to the people of BLURT and a handful of Council representatives.

“Fine Folk of the region – this is not annexation or apartheid – you are standing on a social precedent. Responsible government all over the continent will wake-up”.

Frank went on – “As you know we ran into legal problems with our REMOVE THE WOODSHEDS campaign. The jail was full.

Psychologists had looked at 50 years of cultural carry-on and yet nothing would explain why – men walking around the town were “Blurting-in-their-pants” in full daylight at the sight of SKIN-SHOWING. So FOLKS we went to the next level – we had to act – our commitment is only second to Local Government itself”.

Frank went on – “This is not a compound but a suburb upon which we stand – but it will require EVERY BLURTER register for any type of outbound trip into the wider community”.

As Frank wound-up he realised his shorts were riding high on the leg. Some council members had already “taken leave” as a mob dismantled the pallets and grabbed Frank.

A source who wouldn’t be named saw a mob with a large ute driving Frank into the woods beyond the new suburb.

Block "subscribe-to-the-fizza" not found


Block "bbq-on-video" not found