Today citizens of Adelaide exiting a restaurant precinct were stopped from proceeding to their vehicles and modes of departure, by authorities who were responding to mountains of smoke surging upwards from the bowels of the city.

Mainstream and independent media were congregating on mass as the ability to see was fast fading. The city-folk were being annexed off in shops and outlets with paper-masks as the toxic smoke escalated. Sirens along with public hysteria was also escalating.

George from the “EXECUTIVE RISSOLE” had a theory – as he sought out the head-of-police who staggered from the co-ordination caravan complaining “everything smells like garlic”. Red eyed and puffy, George explained that he had seen what looked like a landscaping truck on 3 separate occasions tipping dried-out-passed-use-by garlic into the storm-water system.

As a tactical team entered the underground environment – media was reporting on a communique thought to be genuine, about a new strain of garlic. Which if incinerated and inhaled would ensure a person smelt like overwhelming garlic for over 3 years – despite chemical intervention.

As everyone staggered about – a motorised super-garlic emerged from the smoke like a Trojan horse. An automated arm sprung forth – delivering a single document looking a lot like an invoice to the media pool.

The TV hound with biggest mouth went straight-to-air. Stating “The garlic-crisis is nothing more than a STUNT by a group of coastal producers who don’t like the contracted Supermarket buy price of 1 cent per garlic”.

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